turkey!

on the onset, this was one of the more enticing destinations of the cruise, at least for me. nicole was probably looking forward to seeing bits of greece for the first time. i was up for everything, really, but turkey is another hotbed of history. in school, we learn all about greek and roman history, but completely skip the ottomans and barely mention the byzantine era. that’s what i was attracted to, really–that rich history that i had to seek out on my own. it was the birthplace of the byzantine and ottoman empires! the history of the ottoman empire, especially, is vastly important, in the same sense that the roman and greek civilizations were important. the fact that the ottoman empire lasted for over six centuries right up into the early 20th century means that its legacy can still be felt today in the global culture. it was a very influential empire at one time, and its decline and eventual dissolution following world war one is a topic of interest for me. turkey became a republic after that, complete with a secular constitution (although its population is largely muslim). it bridges europe, asia, and the middle east in one centralized location. hell, turkey borders iraq, iran, and syria to the south and east–it’s a fascinating part of the world, for certain. and there we were. our feet touching muslim soil for the first time.

and turkey didn’t fail to live up to its attraction for me; it turned out to be an interesting adventure. in fact, we placed ourselves in considerable danger, given the circumstances. we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, and there were several things that could have gone wrong for us.

anyway, it was a pleasant tuesday morning and our ship was docked, so all we had to do was step off the boat and explore turkey.

of course, the first thing we encountered were the shops. within two minutes i was crabby. the shopkeepers were pushy, taking our arm, insisting we visit their stores. one clawed at me, trying to entice me with his fine, quality t-shirts. i refused. “just one moment, sir.” no way.

“we gotta get outta here,” i insisted. so we did.

we walked along the coastline, a pleasant waterfront parkway lined with carnival rides, statues, and areas for fishing. there were even trampolines. what better activity can you think of then to jump on a trampoline on a concrete sidewalk next to a rocky shoreline? i’m amazed we don’t have those in millennium park in chicago. they need to get on that immediately.

one guy was kinda funny to me. he was recording something with his video camera, but he was standing in this ridiculous pose, with his legs spread far apart in a wide upside-down ‘v’. sure, i take a lot of pictures, but i don’t strike poses with the camera like i think i’m fellini or something, trying desperately to capture that perfect artistic angle. to me, the guy looked foolish.

we walked the boardwalk for about twenty minutes. i was still kind of crabby from the stores, and nicki called me on it. while i worked on changing my attitude, she declared that she was bored again, like she was in croatia. again with the “now what do we do?”

so we rented a scooter. again, i have no riding experience on a scooter. it didn’t seem all that tough to me (but then, neither does manual transmission). i’ve simply never tried it. i was willing to get my own, partially to kindle my sense of adventure, but mostly the lack of desire to ride bitch on the scooter behind a woman in a muslim country, but nicole seemed adamant that we just rent the one scooter. “all those uphill and downhill streets, they’re really steep, you’re going to kill yourself.”

we’d figured out by now that our entire honeymoon was going to be about mountains. the rolling tuscan terrain, the italian alps in como, croatia’s mountains, turkey’s mountains, and, well, we’re going to two greek islands, which are essentially mountains sticking out of the ocean. our honeymoon was plagued with mountains. only venice would provide respite from mountain terrain. venetian terrain was an altogether different challenge, as we’d later learn.

anyway, so we rented just the one scooter. i was gonna ride bitch. i guess i was just going to have to be secure in my western masculinity and insist that i get my own when we go to key west over christmas.

i’m not a fan of scooters. i’m all out in the open. if we hit a bump, that’s it. injury or death. there’s no way around it. hit a bump in a car, and, well, you’re protected. so i’m not a fan of the scooter. plus, riding bitch is infinitely worse. first of all, it’s an intense test of my trust in nicole. second, there’s nothing but her to grab on to. she has the handlebars. i have, well, her. it’s not a secure feeling at all. third, i am a boy, and my legs were not meant to spread like that. my wife has fabulous hips, and my legs weren’t meant to be around them for any length of time. in short, we’re talking discomfort from practically every source.

nevertheless, my jaw remained locked tight in horror within my blue helmet as we ascended the winding roads out of kusadasi. we drove about 14km to ephesus, given the suggestion by the guy that we rented the scooter from. oh, by the way, as collateral for the scooter, nicki had to give up her passport. she did it, but we were extremely wary. can you count the dangers associated with this? it is one of the big no-no’s associated with travelling abroad. still, she gave it up.

i was happy to head to ephesus, though. it’s a city so old that it was rebuilt by the greeks. it had particular significance in greek times, as well as into roman times. the temple of artemis was one of the seven wonders of the world. the church of mary was one of the seven churches of asia as mentioned in the bible’s book of revelations. the house of mary was supposedly the house that the mother of jesus spent her final days before her assumption to heaven. it’s where the apostle john is supposedly laid to rest. we rode by most of these things, not knowing what they were, really, at the time (except for the temple of artemis, which i was aware of). we headed straight for the ruins of the city itself. the signs led us down a road towards a parking area. there were vans and buses. a portly turkish man flagged us down and invited us to park the scooter.

he explained to us that we’d arrived at the end of the tour. “see all those buses?” he asked, pointing ahead of us. “they are all waiting for tour groups to finish the tour.” ok, that makes sense. he asked us to wait a moment while he walked to a van behind us and produced a pamphlet. it unfolded like an accordion to a map about five feet long of the site of the ruins. he pointed to the left side. “we are here.” he then pointed to the right side of the map. “this is where you need to go.” we nodded our understanding. “it takes about 45 minutes to walk through the ruins, from top to bottom. we can take you there, if you like, using our free shuttle service.” seemed like a good idea to us. “it is all government-controlled and part of the tour. all we ask is that you visit one of three stores first.” as he explained the stores, we both envisioned that we’d see booths or tents like we’d seen at the port of kusadasi, at the top of the hill just before the entrance to the ruins. “there is a store for turkish rugs. the finest in all of turkey. a family of women make them in the mountains, and they are shipped here to sell. it is their livelihood. then, there is a jewelry factory, where the finest jewels are made. third, there is a leather factory. everything is government-controlled, and is of the finest quality. all we ask is that you spend ten minutes in the store of your choice.” nicole chose the jewelry store, and the portly turk led us back to the white van. we climbed in, as he assured us that they’d watch over our scooter. he spoke to the van’s driver, and we drove out the way we came in, away from the ruins. when we reached the highway we’d turned off of, we made a right turn. we continued along the highway for a couple of minutes, without any ruins in sight. nicole was getting worried.

“are we being kidnapped? are we being taken to some turkish prison or something? should we ask him to turn around?” i sat back in my seat and looked ahead, pondering the truth of our decision. after a few moments of consideration, i leaned forward to speak to the driver. at that moment, i spied a few buildings appear, no longer obscured by the curving landscape. they were each the size of small warehouses. one had a large black sign that said, “Leather”. The second building had an ornate front yard and a roundabout driveway, exactly like a hotel. I forget what the sign said, exactly, but it was clearly the jewelry store.

whew.

we were dropped off at the front door and were asked to go inside. upon our entrance, we were given laminate ID badges that said ‘VISITOR’. we clipped them to our shirts. in front of us was a row of people at stations, like lab rats. each station had a glass window in front of it, and each contained various tools and machines. a few were occupied, and we were told that this is where the jewelry is made. we drifted along to the right, towards a hallway. we were invited to browse the jewelry. we entered a large storefront with rows upon rows of encased jewelry, all under bright lighting. we began window shopping on our own–rather, nicole browsed as i followed. perhaps a minute later, we heard some arguing in turkish behind us before we were greeted quite suddenly by a young man in a sharp tie identifying himself as ibrahim. his smile was the wide smile of a used car salesman. he stuck to us like glue. every time nicole stopped to look at a piece of jewelry, ibrahim informed us of the design of the piece, its utter beauty, and told us he’d be able to offer it to us for only three thousand dollars (american). everything was 18 karat gold or real diamonds. he told us that they accept cash, credit, money orders, travelers checks, and checks, even if it’s in american currency. (the turkish lira is the official currency)

every piece that nicole looked at was exorbitantly priced. i think the cheapest thing she pointed at was priced at perhaps 800 dollars. we spent our ten minutes in the store, wandering around, putting up with ibrahim’s shadowing, and generally developing a distaste for the turkish pushiness in the marketplace. it seemed to last an eternity. finally, we bid ibrahim goodbye and headed towards the rear door. he thanked us and told us he would call our driver. the back door seemed to lead directly to the back of the house area, which is kind of odd (normally the customers don’t see the ‘employees only’ areas). we made our way towards the exit, dropping our badges in a wicker basket on our way out. indeed, our driver was waiting with the van. we hopped back on and rode to the top of the ruins of ephesus.

there indeed were tents there, too, with pushy people trying to sell us stupid merchandise. one guy offered bottles of water, but since he was also pushy, i walked right by. we stormed past them all and towards the gate. gate? what now, i thought to myself. we approached the booth and learned that it was 11 euros a head to get in. it doesn’t surprise me now that they’d charge for this, but by then, i’d had enough. still, with gritted teeth i asked for two tickets, and handed over my credit card. 22 euros later, we were FINALLY at the ruins for ephesus. we glided right by the guy asking to be our guide, curtly replying no, and headed straight down the path. we exchanged three major thoughts once we were on our own.

1) i should probably take a billion photos, just to get my money’s worth.
2) will our scooter be there when we get back? just what we’d need. she gave up her passport, we allowed strangers to cart us around, and it’s not like we could lock our scooter up somewhere. what the hell are we thinking?
3) dammit, i should’ve bought that water from that guy.

despite what the portly turk said, we breezed through the ruins in about twenty minutes. we stopped through only long enough to take pictures of random ruins. not knowing what anything was, in particular, and no way of finding out without a guide, we didn’t know what bits to stare at if it weren’t for the various guided groups standing in front of things. click! another picture was taken and we forged ahead. it was cool to be there, to be certain, but overall this particular turkey wasn’t tasting all that good to us. what the heck. what else could i do just then, but take more pictures?

all right, all right, that’s enough. indeed our scooter was where we left it. we rode back to kusadasi, both of us a bit nervous about the strong winds. we returned the scooter without major injury or death, and her passport was returned as promised. we walked back to the port and managed to shop at a jewelry store that was slightly less than pushy (but not by much). she bought a gift or two. we then boarded the boat safe and sound.

we felt that we could’ve been taken advantage of several times, and yet we left turkey without a single problem. the turks seemed almost too honest and accommodating, to the point that we second-guessed ourselves the entire day. that, and the pushy salesmen turned us off. like croatia, we felt turkey was beautiful and interesting, but neither of us seemed too keen on returning anytime soon. i suppose, though, that i can’t fault the turks for their heightened sense of honesty and friendliness. perhaps it’s limited to the tourist industry there. however, it was even on display for us to see, if only we bothered to look and think about it.

we saw this sign outside of a pay toilet at the end of the ruins:

okay, well, that sign is less about honesty. it’s just plain creepy. and funny. anyway, moments later, we passed this sign:

ok, fair enough. talk about honest. then, back at the port, there was a cigarette shop selling cartons on the cheap. they all included very direct warnings on the boxes, unlike our vague “if you smoke, you may experience (insert malady here)” pseudo-warnings we see in america. turkish warnings didn’t mess around with soft language. again, they were almost too honest.

ok, then, so there!

we headed south from kusadasi towards our next destination, which would turn out to be one of the biggest highlights of the honeymoon.

next: we dance on a volcano, swim in the open sea, and visit the town hanging off a cliff.