Holy mother of god
You’ve got to go faster than that to get to the top.
Dirty old mountain
All covered in smoke, she can turn you to stone
So you better start doing it right
Better start doing it right.

You’re halfway up and you’re halfway down
And the pack on your back is turning you around.
Throw it away, you won’t need it up there, and remember
You don’t look back whatever you do.
Better start doing it right.

On your left and on your right
Crosses are green and crosses are blue
Your friends didn’t make it through.
Out of the night and out of the dark
Into the fire and into the fight
Well that’s the way the heroes go, ho! ho! ho!

Through a crack in mother earth,
Blazing hot, the molten rock
Spills out over the land.
And the lava’s the lover who licks your boots away. hey! hey! hey!
If you don’t want to boil as well.
B-b-better start the dance
D-d-do you want to dance with me.

You better start doing it right.

The music’s playing, the notes are right
Put your left foot first and move into the light.
The edge of this hill is the edge of the world
And if you’re going to cross you better start doing it right
Better start doing it right.

You better start doing it right.

Let the dance begin.

–Genesis, Dance On A Volcano, 1976 (Banks, Collins, Hackett, Rutherford)

this day’s stop was the island of santorini, which is part of greece. our ship anchored early that morning, and we were indeed up that early, because that day we had our first planned excursion of the cruise. no renting of rickety vehicles today, it was all taken care of for us. we arrived at the theatre at 7:45am to catch our boat for the first half of our excursion. they grouped each excursion by number, so we had to wait for our number to be called. we were wearing bathing suits, and we carried a change of clothes and a couple of towels. eventually our number was called and we were loaded onto a motorboat built to look like a small-ish wooden sailing vessel. we’d learned that wayne and candace from our dinner table was on the excursion as well, so we were looking forward to hanging out with them. first? the volcano. on our way to the volcano, which was this big black thing sticking out of the ocean, i thought i’d left my camera in our stateroom. i was bummed, cos it meant we wouldn’t have pictures for the day.

along with my bathing suit, i was wearing a t-shirt and the new black italian sneakers we’d bought in como. this turned out to be a bad idea. i still haven’t washed all the volcanic dirt out of those shoes. we docked on the otherwise uninhabited island and were herded up along a path of zillions of black rocks.

holy crap, was that hard work. we’re not in the best of shape, but that volcano kicked our butts. well, i was much worse off. the farther i climbed, the more my asthma kicked in. i was beginning to lag behind, to be passed up by old people. every new plateau was a chance to rest, as the guide showed us another crater. i wheezed, clutched my knees, moistened the lava rock with the sweat dripping from me. i was a wreck. granted, it wasn’t an easy climb. you’re climbing up a pathway of millions of rocks. it’s quite slippery. if you didn’t step carefully, you were going to land face first (or on your back on the way down, like a dude we saw). the climb took about 30 minutes to make. it’s quite a workout.

we finally made it, though. the main plateau afforded a fascinating view of the island of santorini, which is a small group of islands left over from a massive volcanic explosion. the volcano that we were on is in the middle of the caldera, and the main island itself features high cliffs from what we could see. it was gorgeous. again, i didn’t have the camera with me, so i have no pictures to share. i did find an aerial photo from wikipedia that shows the archipelago, with the volcano in the middle of the circle of islands.

i also found a pic on wikipedia of the volcano island, so you get a visual representation of what we were dealing with…

at the summit, after i’d caught my breath, our group was milling around, taking pictures, or listening to the guide talk about eruptions and the islands. nicole was talking with wayne and candace, and i was looking out on the horizon. i was thinking of the genesis song dance on a volcano. as a fan of the band, i felt it appropriate at that moment to dance on the volcano. so, after a quick check to make sure no one was looking, i did a quick booty shake.

the irish couple that we barely spoke to at the dinner table were also there. they avoided us, but were willing to take a picture of the four of us on wayne’s camera. he snapped the pic, glanced at it, said it was good, and gave back the camera. we reviewed the pic. it was indeed not good. not good at all. candace’s eyes were closed and wayne’s head was cut off. ok, then. we’re not going to ask them for anything again!

before long, we headed back down. this was hard, but mostly due to the extra effort not to slide. it was definitely easier than the way up (for me). we returned to the dock and returned to the boat. the boat then took us around to the far side of the volcano. it anchored about fifty meters from shore. there was a natural hot spring just off the shore for us to visit, which is why we had our bathing suits. we had to jump out of the boat and into the open sea. we were then to swim those fifty meters or so (that’s more than 160 feet) to the shore. the girls jumped in first. of course, nicki has no problem with any of this. i did okay, really. i jumped in and swam, although i was a bit panicky at times. i was a trooper. i made it through. wayne, however, was the true wimp of the group. he’s the only adult that wore one of those giant orange life vests. in order to not choke himself, he had to climb in using the ladder. as we swam along, with the girls leading the way, me about five feet behind, wayne was lagging about fifteen feet behind us, doggy-paddling like a kid. now, wayne is a big bloke. he’s an ex-marine and a NY state trooper. the girls were making fun of him. i’m the nice guy that basically kept quiet, but the girls were giving him grief. hey, at least he did it. some people stayed on the boat. as we approached the shore, we passed a point in the water where the water suddenly warmed up. the water was a rusty brown color, and smelled a bit of sulfur. it was pleasant though. the interesting part about that little alcove was the crazy guy that lived there. he wasn’t supposed to, legally, but i guess the authorities tolerate him, because he’s crazy and harmless. he had goats there, that walked up the steep mountainside effortlessly, seemingly to mock my difficulties walking up the other side. he had a self-made hut with stools where he served food and drinks. he had a hand-painted sign inviting people for tomatoes and wine. no one took his offer.

soon enough, we returned to the boat. the return swim was tougher, since we were heading away from shore. i was really panicky on the return trip. as we waited to board the boat, we tread water, and i was holding onto nicki until i could relax a little. after a few minutes, we climbed the slippery metal ladder back onto the boat and returned to our seats to begin drying off. we started taking our change of clothes out the bag, since we were headed toward fira, the town up on the cliffs of the main island. it was then that i discovered that i’d packed my camera after all, but was hidden in my clothes! the picture-taking freak had his tool back! on our way back, i started clicking away, to make up for lost time.

here’s the town we were heading to…

me…

here’s where we were at the time, leaving the hot spring. you can see on the left the water’s rusty brown color as it bled into the ocean. where the color changes, the temperature changes. it’s interesting.

my disgusting no-longer-black brand-new shoes:

wayne, candace, and nicki:

more of the volcano island:

nicki:

a cluster of cruise ships under the town of fira (the splendour of the seas is seen in the middle):

and a picture of our sexy selves:

as we neared, we could see more of the town, both at the dock, and above. there was a cable car line, for which we had tickets, and a zigzag path up the mountain, where you could ride a donkey for a nominal fee.

yeah, we had enough climbing for one day, so we took the cable car.

up at the top, we located a place right on the edge of the cliff for lunch. it was extremely windy.

this vantage point offered a great view of the volcano we were just on.

it was absolutely gorgeous.

after that, we explored and shopped. the girls bought a few gifts, wayne and i tagged along. we also bought some wine and ouzo. we emptied the ouzo bottle into a water bottle to sneak it on board. holy crap is that stuff strong! a few sample shots for each of us and we were a bit tipsy by the time we left the store.

eventually, we had to head back to the dock below to return to the ship, as we were due to leave port soon. the girls and i took the cable car down, while wayne was determined to ride the donkey. we rode the car with an asian couple. candace and the woman sat on one side, with nicole sitting in between myself and the other guy. about halfway down, the guy apparently ripped a giant fart. in a cable car! i didn’t hear it, or realize what it was at least. the girls were trying their best not to react, but were grinning like you do in church. nicole later said that she felt the bench vibrate. the girls could hardly contain themselves, while i’m asking, ‘what?’ i had no idea. they were trying to change the subject, but it was clear they were choking in laughter and horror. the woman yelled at the man in their own language. i doubt what she said was very supportive. it wasn’t until we finally arrived at the dock that they burst out laughing and told me the story. we walked over to where the donkey path ends. we had to wait about twenty minutes before wayne arrived. the line for the tender boats back to the ship were long, so it took us a while to get on board. once we finally boarded, the wind was high and the seas were choppy. i sat next to a seasick portuguese woman in her fifties. everytime the boat lurched, she grabbed onto me or gripped my shoulder, moaning “oh, no…” i was laughing at first, but soon i was worried that i’d be wearing her vomit on my shorts.

the boat rocked and swayed wildly. as soon as we reached the ship, they closed up. we sat there for ten minutes, rocking and swaying, to this woman’s dismay. someone eventually appeared to wave us to the other side of the boat. so we had to go around to the other side of the boat to get on. she made it without barfing, but she definitely wasn’t feeling well. perhaps this trip isn’t for her.

santorini was one of our favorite places of the entire trip. its beauty is beyond description. it is the first port of the cruise that we felt compelled to return to. everyone was friendly, spoke english, and the scenery was unforgettable. it seems like the nightlife is bustling there. we had to leave in the afternoon, which means we couldn’t see the famous santorini sunset. we must return to enjoy that island again someday.

although i didn’t see the sunset from the island, i did capture it on the boat.

next: the last port of call before returning to venice…the most amazing sunrise i’ve ever witnessed, lying on the beach, topless greeks of all ages, more doggy love for nicole, and the midnight buffet.